It doesn’t matter how drunk you are, there’s no excuse to say ANY of these things.


1. “So, are you a guy or a piano or what?”

Via tigerdroppings.com


2. “I like the ice cream truck’s version better.”

Via reddit.com

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3. “Would you rub those magic fingers of yours on my ailing daughter?”

Via reddit.com

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4. “You can take the night off; I have a couple of songs stuck in my head.”

Via fashion-gifs.tumblr.com

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5. “Please, I need to hear a C-sharp or I will die.”

Via sleepywitchysamurai.tumblr.com

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6. “I don’t know what it’s called, but could you play that song that goes, ‘Whoa Black Betty, bam-ba-lam / Yeah Black Betty, bam-ba-lam / Black Betty had a child, bam-ba-lam / Damn thing gone wild, bam-ba-lam / She’s always ready, bam-ba-lam / She’s all rock-steady, bam-ba-lam / Whoa Black Betty, bam-ba-lam / Yeah Black Betty, bam-ba-lam / All right / Yeah / Oh yeah, oh right / Oh yeah, oh right / Oh yeah, oh right / Oh yeah, oh right / Hey-eh-eh-eh’?”

Via giphy.com

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7. “There are many songs online ripe for the taking!”

Via tigerdroppings.com

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8. “My dad says that DJs are human pieces of furniture, like sweaty, breathing radios, and that you don’t need to save them during fires.”

Via reddit.com

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9. “Can you do the thing where you take two records and put them over your eyes to make it look like you have big eyes?”

Via thefrisky.com

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10. “Can everyone else hear you too?”

Via rapgenius.com