Have a newly single friend? Well, here’s a quick etiquette crash course you DEFINITELY need to look at before hanging out with them again.

1. “Hey, just thought I’d give you a heads-up and tell you that you’re newly single.”

2. “Now that you’re single, can my wife have your kidney?”

3. “Look, the Two-Person has become a One-Person!”

4. “Look on the bright side: New fast-casual restaurants are popping up all over the place now.”

5. “All 12 of my brothers are looking for a wife—maybe you should try giving one of them a call?”

6. “I’ve taken the liberty of having your tuxedo shredded.”

7. “When I go to heaven I’m going to have sex all the time with my dead husband, and you will be alone.”

8. “Let me set you up with my friend, your ex.”

9. “You literally could have had ANY of the Fanta girls.”

10. “Whoa, just like your parents!”