Being a dad isn’t easy, but it’s the special little things your kids say that make it all worthwhile.


1. Nice tie, Pops. Looks very congressional, if I do say so myself.

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2. We got the numbers back, and it looks like you’ve got strong, positive name recognition in rural counties, as well as quite a bit of interest up north. I really think you could win this thing, Dad.

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3. Remember, Dad, this isn’t just your first campaign speech. This is the first time these people get to meet their next congressman.

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4. Everyone’s cheering for you out there, Pops—I got goosebumps! Shades of Reagan!

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5. The profile in the Tribune didn’t say anything about the summer houses, so I think we’re in the clear.

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6. Reynolds dropped out! Reynolds dropped out! The nomination’s yours!

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7. Whoa, look at all these donors. Ethanol, telecommunications, pharma—industry’s got your back!

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8. Everyone’s really loving this new TV spot, Dad. They’re really going for the strong-values-for-a-strong-economy angle.

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9. What the hell’s a Majority Whip, anyway? Don’t listen to that clown, Dad. You’ve got this.

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10. Independents are starting to trickle your way. This is good. This is real good.

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11. Did you see the endorsement from the teachers union? Not sure where that came from, but we’ll take it!

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12. So far, you’ve been crushing these town hall debates, Pops. Just keep it vague on the flatter-tax-rate stuff and you’ve got this locked.

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13. Holy smokes, you were incredible! That wasn’t a debate—that was a eulogy for the incumbent!

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14. You’ve never had a problem closing a deal before, and this isn’t any different. This is business. Go out there and close the deal.

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15. Exit numbers are looking good, Pops. Shouldn’t be long now.

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16. Last polls are closing now and you’re still up 11 points. Unless they pull off a Hail Mary, it’s all yours.

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17. Congratulations, Dad—or should I say Mr. Congressman.

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