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6 Ways Nerds Have It Better Than Ever

It’s chic to be geek!

1. Glasses aren’t uncool anymore—good eyes are uncool.

If your eyes work fine, then you’re living in the past! Today, most people wouldn’t be seen in public without bad eyes.

2. Each time you play Dungeons & Dragons, you get 100 shares of Google stock.

Those jocks in high school made fun of your role-playing games, but now you make thousands of dollars just by rolling a 20-sided die. Who’s the loser now?

3. Almost every Hollywood movie is about Felicia Day patting Patrick Stewart’s head.

Twenty years ago, producers underestimated nerd audiences, but today’s Hollywood executives know that films like Felicia Pats Patrick will automatically dominate the box office.

4. Sports were made illegal.

If you’re into sci-fi or fantasy, it’s great that 2002’s landmark Supreme Court ruling forbid anyone from ever playing sports and that John Elway is in prison for the crime of football.

5. Computers are still going strong.

Software, games, websites—they’re all doing better than ever. Computers are definitely here to stay!

6. Blood is now called Jedi Juice.

Yep, people like Star Wars so much that doctors had to rename blood. Looks like the nerds have officially won.