These kinds of deals are impossible to pass up!
1. Cancún, Mexico
With beautiful scenery at a surprisingly low price, you and your family can fight with each other in picturesque Cancún for a just a few hundred dollars a night. During your stay, you’ll be able to soak up the sun and absolutely lay into your loved ones about their deepest insecurities—without all the guilt of doing that at other, more expensive resort options!
2. Cruise Through The Caribbean
If you’re looking for a tropical vacation that won’t break the bank, consider treating your dysfunctional family to a two-week, all-inclusive cruise through the Caribbean. Sure, a cruise might seem expensive at first, but when you consider that dinners and activities are included, it won’t seem half as bad when one of your kids refuses to eat and then throws a temper tantrum right in the center of the dining hall.
3. Washington, D.C.
Do you regret suggesting your family even go on vacation? If you’re on a budget, take them to D.C.! Unlike other big cities in the U.S., most museums here are free, so even if your bratty 6-year-old lies down on the ground and refuses to move, that’ll be no skin off your back. Whether you’re hissing at each other at the Lincoln Memorial or being asked to leave the National Museum of Natural History, you won’t feel a tinge of guilt about doing it for this price!
4. Yellowstone National Park
Located in the heart of Wyoming, Yellowstone National Park doesn’t have any fancy accommodations to feel bad about turning into emotional war zones. No matter how dirty you get camping, you won’t regret scrapping that expensive hotel room once you and your family get outside and start hurling unforgivable digs at each other in the great outdoors!
5. The Florida Keys
Whether you leave halfway through your family trip to these beautiful white sand beaches, or grit it out even after your 13-year-old tells you he doesn’t respect you because you don’t stand for anything, who cares? Nothing matters!
6. Texas Dude Ranch
Ah, the ranch. The perfect place for families that devolve into screaming matches on a nearly constant basis! Most dude ranches in Texas feature family-style cabins and only require you to pay for room and board, so if you end up spending all your time sulking in your bed, that’s totally fine. Beautiful pastoral Texas is the perfect setting for a vacation so ruined by bickering and deep-set spite that your family will never bring it up ever again, even after your children reach adult age!
7. Myrtle Beach
On second thought—fuck it. Just don’t even bother. If you really want a guilt-free vacation, send the kids to their grandparents and go here on your own.