Steel yourself now.

Here is Bowie playing live in 1978. The audience is just eating right out of his hand. The artful nonchalance. Just effortlessly cool. How the hell is he this cool?

God damn. He’s much older here, yet he is still incredibly cool.

Ah, yes, here is that relaxing salve of endless numbers, boxes, and arcane directions. Read “Ordinary dividends. Attach Schedule B if required” for as long as you need to bring yourself back down to a coolness baseline, because we’re going back to cool Bowie pics.

And we’re right back in with the coolness. This is a little more intense than we remember.

Oh, man, it’s Ziggy Stardust. Ziggy fucking Stardust. This is too much. Dear God, where is that tax code?

Yes, okay, here we are again. It feels so good.

Here is a tax form picture zoomed in so close you can just see the number 8. That’s the stuff.

Ohhhhh, thank God for this Form 1099. Just going to rest here for a while. When you’re ready, we’re going to slowly ratchet our way back up to pictures of David Bowie.

Here is a tax form with David Bowie’s signature on it. It’s pretty cool, even though it’s still a tax form. If you’re too overstimulated, please scroll up to the previous slide.

If the David Bowie picture is too cool, be sure to put your hand over your left eye.

This one was just too cool.