A résumé can make or break your chances of getting the job of your dreams. Before you click send on that online application, make sure your résumé isn’t suffering from any of these easily avoidable mistakes.


1. Avoid listing former places of employment that have vulgar names. This is a classic mistake.

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2. A résumé should communicate your strengths, so don’t include an exhaustive list of your weaknesses, especially if they’re irrelevant to the workplace.

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3. Try not to redact too much of your résumé! Employers want to hear your story.

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4. Don’t print your résumé on your bedsheets. They might be comfortable while you sleep, but they will most likely be difficult for potential employers to handle.

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5. Also, don’t use the latest Entertainment Weekly as your résumé.

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6. Always remember that folding your résumé into a paper crane will make the recruiter feel like they’re destroying something beautiful when they have to flatten it.

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7. Most importantly, don’t even bother sending in a résumé. They’re just going to give the job to someone’s fucking nephew.

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