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7 Patches You’ll Want On Your Thanksgiving Dreamcoat

Everyone has a Thanksgiving Dreamcoat, but what patches do you need to get on your coat this year?

1. The Bravery Patch

Can you imagine how proud your family will be to see you sporting the Bravery Patch on your Thanksgiving Dreamcoat? There are few patches as sought after as this one. For wearing it, you will be permitted three honks on the Thanksgiving horn and an extra helping of juice.

2. Just The Skin, Please! Patch

Are you the one in your family who only likes to eat the turkey skin and nothing else? Then you’ve GOTTA have the Just The Skin, Please! Patch. People will see your patch and know to heap mounds and mounds of slippery turkey skin on your plate, because you just can’t get enough of that savory skin!

3. The Philip C. Glenwood Memorial Patch For Good Thanksgiving Behavior

Philip C. Glenwood made history with his record for best behavior at the most consecutive Thanksgivings. By wearing this patch, you honor his memory and also imply that you too will be well-behaved this Thanksgiving. This is both a great privilege and a great responsibility. Keep that in mind if you choose to don the Philip C. Glenwood Memorial Patch For Good Thanksgiving Behavior.

4. Marksmanship Patch

If you can hit all three targets within 30 seconds, you’ll earn yourself the Marksmanship Patch. No one steals Thanksgiving food from someone with a Marksmanship Patch on their Thanksgiving Dreamcoat. No one in their right mind, at least.

5. Misfits Patch

Your Thanksgiving Dreamcoat wouldn’t be complete without the Misfits Patch. Most Dreamcoats come with this patch already sewn on, but just in case, make sure you have one on yours!

6. Tradable Patch

After everyone’s eaten their Thanksgiving meal, it’s time for one of America’s most celebrated Thanksgiving traditions: the patch trade! Make sure you have the Tradable Patch on your Thanksgiving Dreamcoat this year so you can swap patches with someone else and participate in this beloved American ritual!

7. Green Patch

Wow. The Green Patch. Possibly the best patch, this one is green. If you wear the Green Patch, your relatives will say grace to you instead of their God. That is the power of the Green Patch. Do not abuse it.