Did you know that asking your doctor the right questions can greatly improve your health care experience? Try these ones out at your next appointment.

1. What is the best disease? Finding out your doctor’s favorite disease will tell you a lot about their thought process. Prepare for your visit by thinking about your own favorite disease as well, and if you have the same opinion, you know you’re in good hands.

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2. How dirty are your tools? In a perfect world, a doctor’s tools would be completely clean and sterilized. In reality, the best you can hope for is that they’re only a little bit dirty. Ask this question to let your doctor know your expectations are reasonable, and you’ll get an honest answer.

3. When you were a little boy or girl, were you a little doctor baby? Top physicians almost universally began life as little doctor babies, practicing medicine right out of the womb on the other babies at the hospital. This means more experience and, in all likelihood, a stronger bedside manner.

4. Pinkerton or Blue Album? It’s important that you can trust your doctor, and there’s no better way of establishing a rapport than discussing one of the biggest debates in music history.

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5. Did you go to Carnegie Mellon? Do you know Megan Reese? It’s always important to know your doctor’s credentials and educational background, and if your doctor went to CMU, you should find out if he knows Megan. Even though she wasn’t pre-med, she was pretty social, and they’re around the same age, so you never know.

6. Have you ever juggled bones? Ideally, the answer will be a confident yes.

7. Can I be the doctor now? Before you leave the office, remember to shake your doctor’s hand and ask if you can be the doctor now. If she says no, ask when you can.

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