That nest isn’t empty anymore….

1. Everything in your old room has been bronzed: Bed, pillows, comforter—all of it. Ugh.

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2. Being forced to re-smell the worst smells of your childhood: They’re all still here, and they’re all still terrible—mom’s lung gravy, that polish dad uses on his eyes, your brother’s body, and more.

3. No. Privacy. Ever: You’re in the middle of having sex. It’s going great. Then you realize that your dad has been in the room assembling models of World War II tanks the whole time. *facepalm*

4. You have to check the expiration date of every single can of tuna to make sure it’s not your mom’s birthday: Mom gets to eat the birthday tuna.

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5. Your father still locks his spyglass in the cabinet: Aren’t you an adult? Shouldn’t you have spyglass privileges by now?

6. When you bring a new lover home only to find that your old lover from high school is still in your house because they can’t find their way out: Classic.

7. You’re constantly getting asked to “help lift the car off Dad”: How did your parents ever manage without you?

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