Press "Enter" to skip to content

7 Things All Law School Students Know To Be True

Non-law-school people don’t know what it’s like.

1. Nobody catches the gavel on their first try: When the teacher tossed the gavel on the first day of class, nobody stood a chance.

2. Defense is shirts. Prosecution is skins: You only have to be laughed out of one mock trial to remember this.

3. You can’t fully enjoy drinking a glass of water anymore because of Nelson v. Water: The general public is lucky to not know the details of this case.

4. Most cases just get settled in the Fight Sphere: Don’t get too excited about making closing arguments in court. Chances are your clients will just slog it out with clubs and grit.

5. You stayed up late with your roommate arguing that there aren’t enough commas in the Bill of Rights: Sitting on opposite sides of the room on your beds, each clutching a pillow and shouting how many commas should be added to the Bill of Rights and where until 4 a.m.—that’s law school.

6. No gum is better than law school gum: When you see your non-law-school friends chewing their regular gum, you can’t help but feel bad. They have no idea what they’re missing.

7. You know the word “judge” by heart: After three years of it, how could you forget?