Telecommuters, you know this is you.

1. Shed your skin and walk around in just your muscles: You know what they say: At home, there is no dress code. So, take off your shirt, tie, epidermis, and connective tissue, and lounge the day away!

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2. Yell “I want to push a bus full of dogs into a lake” as often as you want: Everyone who works remotely knows that when you’re alone, you have no filter, so you’re pretty much constantly screaming about pushing buses filled with various amounts of dogs into a lake.

3. Take a reverse shower, where filth sprays up out of the drain: When you don’t have coworkers or a boss sitting near you, personal hygiene goes right out the window. So, it’s okay to enjoy a reverse shower and wash yourself in a spewing geyser of brown sludge.

4. Kiss the CEO’s parents: You’d never get away with this in the office.

5. Cut your car in half with a chainsaw: Who wants to commute anyway? Working at home means no traffic jams, no more paying for gas, and getting to slice your car into tiny pieces of scrap metal.

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6. Sculpt a coworker out of marble: It gets a little lonely being all by yourself, so it’s only natural to chisel a colleague out of stone.

7. Work: Admit it: Getting some work done is your guilty pleasure.