Isn’t teenage life hard enough without metal all over your mouth?


1. Being legally required to go door-to-door to tell everyone in your neighborhood that you have braces

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2. Not being able to trade teeth with your friends whenever you want

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3. CONSTANTLY slicing your tongue off

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4. Being taken from your parents and having to live in the Braces’ Home

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5. Watching tiny trains use your braces as railroads to run back and forth across your teeth

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6. Having James Bond star Roger Moore come to your house every morning to tell you the character of Jaws in The Spy Who Loved Me was based on you

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7. Not being able to drag your mouth on the ground without making an awful screeching sound

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