Talking about sex is awkward. But luckily, a team of researchers from the University of Pennsylvania released a new study that surveyed over 100 women to get their thoughts on what they want—and don’t want—in bed. Here are the biggest highlights.
1. Whisper “I’m proud of you, sport” to her clitoris: Sex is vulnerable, and the most effective way to make a woman feel at ease is to quietly validate her genitals with words of encouragement. “Whispering something like ‘I’m proud of you, sport,’ or ‘You’re my special little buddy’ to my clitoris at the beginning of foreplay will help me feel relaxed enough to let down my guard and just have fun,” one respondent explained.
2. Fly to scenic Tokyo, Japan: Let’s face it, all women want to go to Tokyo, Japan. So, what better way to impress your love in the sack than to fly her over 6,000 miles to Japan mid-coitus? Come on, men—indulge her!
3. Continuously press the garage remote to elicit the constant erotic rumbling of the garage door: The muted, sensual roar of the garage door going up and down speaks to something primal deep in a woman’s loins, making her wild beneath the sheets. “Garage noise is the sexiest thing in the world,” one female respondent said. “It sounds like a giant breathing hard after a brisk jog, and this whips up my womanhood into a frenzy.”
4. Release one bee into the room: According to over half of the women surveyed, adding one bee into the mix creates a sense of danger, which can be a total turn-on.
5. Roleplay as an auctioneer who’s trying to sell off a wheelbarrow containing his own gigantic testicles: “I like it when my husband talks dirty to me, but I’d like it a lot more if he was talking 15 times faster and about his own testicles, swollen to the size of beanbags and available to the highest bidder,” said one woman, echoing the opinion of 83 percent of those who were polled.
6. The thing where you grab each other’s ankles and tumble around like a human wheel: Who doesn’t love this?
7. Shoot the murderer: If a murderer bursts into your bedroom and lunges at both of you with a knife, she’ll appreciate it if you shoot him dead. “It’s a confident move,” said one respondent, “and confidence is sexy.”