Love can prevail!

1. Keep each other updated on the latest box-office returns: Regular communication is a must, and nothing shows you care more than letting your lover know how Goosebumps fared at the box office or discussing whether Steve Jobs will do well overseas.

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2. Date the same other person: Choose someone who travels back and forth between you, is able to pass on notes and share anecdotes, and is committed to making all three relationships work.

3. Know each other’s phone number: Just about everyone has a phone number, so when all else fails, remember that this is a topic both of you can talk about for hours.

4. Join Van Halen: You think a member of Van Halen would have trouble keeping up a long-distance relationship? Yeah right, buddy!

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5. Visit each other at the same time: The excitement of both being in the air at once and the possibility that your planes will smash into one another in a glorious midair crash can help maintain that spark in your relationship.

6. Ask about your partner’s leg: Your significant other will appreciate that you remembered this body part, which is used so much for running and kicking a soccer ball.

7. Hire a private investigator to follow them in secret: No matter how much time you spend texting or talking, in the end, there’s simply no substitute for a seasoned private eye.

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