Use these tips and you’ll dominate your league in no time!

  1. Before every game, ask a priest to pray for your team.
  2. Razz your opponents! Gain the psychological edge over the other guys in your league by saying things like, “I wager my sportsmen will outperform your sportsmen,” and “I’m going to vandalize your mom’s car unless you give me all your good players.”
  3. The players get the attention, but you’d be remiss to neglect your fantasy organization’s medical staff, stadium ushers, and grounds crew.
  4. Use any bonus points you acquire to upgrade your players’ armor and HP.
  5. Remember that your fantasy team gets points every time you kiss one of your players in reality.
  6. Ban dogs from your league. It might sound like a fun idea to give one of your roster spots to a dog, but there are few instances in which this actually pays off.
  7. Keep in mind that if a player dies in the game, he dies in real life.
  8. Lastly, don’t get discouraged if your team isn’t performing as well as you’d hoped. Like most things in life, none of this matters.

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