Savvy travelers can make good use of these hotel industry secrets.

1. Tired of sleeping in the shower? Try the bed: They won’t tell you this when you get to the hotel, but included with nearly every room is a bed, complete with a mattress and even a few pillows. It’s twice as comfy and typically contains much less water.

2. You can ask the maid to give you bath towels “Texas-style”: At no extra expense, housekeeping will wrap each of your towels around a cow skull.

3. The hotel is happy to provide you with small personal items you may have forgotten, like a toothbrush or comb, but in exchange will place your photo on their Wall of Dunces: Every morning, the hotel staff gather in front of the wall to laugh at all the bumbling idiots who traveled without packing all the toiletry items they needed.

4. There’s no such thing as ghosts: Many older hotels claim to be haunted by ghosts to lend an air of history and charm to their establishment. These are just tall tales, because ghosts aren’t real. That half-glimpsed figure is actually an incubus, a type of demon that feeds off the sexual energy of mortals.

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5. If you add any food or drinks to the mini-fridge, the hotel has to pay you for them at their own inflated prices: This not only can cover the cost of your stay, but can actually enable you to turn a tidy profit.

6. You’re allowed to slip a few bellhops in your luggage to take home: Most hotels don’t like to advertise this, but nobody is going to say anything if you grab a bellhop or two on your way out.

7. It would be nice if you asked the concierge if there’s anything they need: They help guests all day, but maybe they could use a hand once in a while. Offer to jump behind the counter and run the hotel for a few hours. Even if they don’t need help, they’ll appreciate the gesture.

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8. If you don’t check out by noon, you can never leave: Make sure you’re out before the clock strikes 12, or you’ll be trapped in the hotel for all eternity. That could completely ruin your vacation!