How about giving just a LITTLE thought before opening your mouth?


1. “Did your parents forget about sex?”

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2. “I’d be an only child if it weren’t for Randal. Do you know Randal?”

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3. “There’s nothing better than drinking stolen pool water out of a tin bucket with your siblings, a pleasure that you shall never know.”

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4. “But if you sled down a hill and into a frozen river and the ice breaks and you fall in, who saves you?”

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5. “I am sorry you never got to have the experience where a sibling tells you what their favorite planet is.”

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6. “Allow me to define solo for you. Solo: For or done by one person alone; unaccompanied. Synonyms include solitary; single-handed; companionless; unescorted; unattended; unchaperoned; independent; alone; on one’s own; by oneself. Solo used in a sentence? ‘Tomorrow, I am going on a solo trip to the Alamo.’”

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7. “Ah! Another sibling-free idiot for my museum of lonely monsters!”

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8. “So, if you found a ham hock in the couch, you didn’t have to fistfight anyone to see who got to gnaw on it?”

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