If you’re sober, chances are you’ve heard more than a few of these things.


1. “Not even from the Stanley Cup?”

Via reddit.com

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2. “What’s the matter, mouth really bad with fluids or something?”

Via tumblr.com

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3. “Could you drive me home? And by ‘me’ I mean ‘my delivery truck,’ and by ‘home’ I mean ‘to Pierre, South Dakota.’”

Via giphy.com

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4. “I imagine all the buildings as tall beers. The people I imagine as short beers.”

Via reactiongifs.com

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5. “If I pour some into a pan, will you at least soak your feet in it?”

Via gifsfortheusing.tumblr.com

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6. “Mike Teavee didn’t drink either and look where he ended up! Tiny little Mike Teavee. To him, a chocolate bar is big now.”

Via buzzfeed.tumblr.com

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7. “What if I told you I was the CEO of Blue Moon Brewing Co. and that it would mean the world to me if you tasted our newest IPA and gave me some feedback?”

Via reddit.com

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8. “Okay, but you still eat the pint glass, right?”

Via giphy.com

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