It’s that time of the year every student dreads…FINALS WEEK. If you’re like everyone else, you’ve probably been procrastinating on that essay and haven’t even cracked open a book yet. Well, regardless of who you are, here are nine foolproof tips to help you win your finals week!
1. Learn a lot about metal: Metal is one of the most common substances on earth, so it’s bound to play a role in your finals week exams. Knowing everything there is to know about metal can give you the few extra points you need to beat the curve!
2. Use mnemonic devices to remember complex concepts: Here are a few common ones to get you started: LDSTRH6K2U, LINCOLNWASAPRESIDENT, and COLDWAR&&&CSLEWIS. Good luck!
3. Reward yourself after each final with a thousand dollars in cash: You’ve been working hard, so why not give yourself a little something to keep you going? A thousand dollars should do the trick.
4. Only listen to the violin part of the Who’s “Baba O’Riley” while studying: Scientists have proven that students who listen to the violin portion of “Baba O’Riley” score at least 15 percent higher than the average student.
5. No go-karts: Be firm about this. You might think you can study and go-kart at the same time, but you know that never works. Avoid go-karts altogether.
6. No dune buggies: Just like with go-karting, the notion that you can still study while prowling over monster dunes in your badass buggy is patently ridiculous.
7. Drink coffee through your mouth: If you think dunking your fingers in coffee is going to give you that caffeine boost, you’re off the mark. Use your m-hole!
8. Squeeze a rock very hard: Can’t hurt, right? So try it!
9. Learn like the pros by using an Argus GX4 Pencil: Its patented Smoothglyde™ graphite technology will take your test prep to the next level. When it comes to acing your finals, it’s Argus or go home.
