Illustration for article titled Customer Service FTW: Best Buy Is Constructing 40,000 Terra-Cotta Geek Squad Agents To Fix Its Customers’ Computers In The Afterlife

All right, now THIS is a business we can get behind!

Best Buy has always been committed to its customers, and now it’s taken the extra step to make sure they’re covered in the afterlife: The electronics retail giant has begun production of 40,000 terra-cotta Geek Squad agents to fix its customers’ computers in heaven.

Talk about customer service!

Constructed in a secret mine in the foothills of Hotan, the manufacturing process of the terra-cotta Geek Squad agents spares no intricate detail. Although each figure appears identical even down to the “Greg” name tag, each Greg has different diagnostic tools in its terra-cotta messenger bag to remedy an array of problems. The scores of service-professional statues will be animated in the afterlife to ensure your desktop, iPad, or printer will work for the immortal home of our ancestors.

Could this be any more perfect?

Although the Geek Squad Platinum Eternity warranty does cost an extra fee, it may be worth it for customers who don’t want to worry about their laptop having issues connecting to heaven’s Wi-Fi as they traverse the infinite planes of the supreme being’s glory. While the 40,000-agent force will be available to customers 24/7, the everlasting terra-cotta Geek Squad does ask that you consult its FAQ before coming to it, as most of your questions can be answered there.

Wow. Best Buy is really getting it done.

Between new-and-improved product displays and the 40,000 terra-cotta Geek Squad agents in construction, Best Buy is making dying way less stressful. We can’t wait to stream our favorite Go90 shows in heaven with the peace of mind that the terra-cotta Geek Squad provides!


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