Okay, this really blows.
Tina’s usually a total icon when it comes to fashion, and she always knows the perfect moment to debut an absolutely jaw-dropping look. But something happened recently, and Tina messed up in a big way: Tina totally wasted a cute outfit on falling down a fire escape.
Really, Tina? What were you thinking?
Tina could have worn any old pair of sweatpants when she slipped and plummeted down her building’s wrought-iron fire escape, but for some reason she decided to go with a pair of amazing, high-waisted black jeans that she hadn’t even worn out of the apartment yet. Seriously, why? It’s not like anyone was going to be able to make out the subtle pattern on her V-neck tee under the dim, flickering light of the emergency exit as she tumbled ass over ankles down four flights of unforgiving stairs. Worst of all, though, is that Tina had on these absolutely amazing Betsey Johnson statement boots that are basically pieces of art, and they could really only be seen for about a half-second each time she rolled over and her legs kicked out over her head at weird angles.
What a shame! This is such a shocking lapse in judgment from someone who’s usually so on point.
The most frustrating thing is that there wasn’t even anyone near the fire escape to appreciate Tina’s iconic look when she fell, except for the weird-ass guy who lives across the street who heard her screams and called 911. It would have completely made sense if Tina knew that Kyle from work was going to be at the bottom of the narrow landing to see how her boho-chic cardigan perfectly twisted around her broken arm and dislocated shoulder, but he was at a housewarming party for a coworker, which honestly would have been a great spot for Tina to strut her hot new look if she hadn’t made the boneheaded decision to waste it careening down the fire escape. Even worse, it looks like nobody will get to see this perfect outfit on Tina in the future, because it got all ripped up and there’s a big blood stain from where she pretty much skinned her entire knee off.
Damn. Such a bummer! We hope next time Tina gets all dressed up, she actually has somewhere to go!