Growing old is an inevitable part of life, and although we can’t keep our bodies from aging on the outside, we can stay young forever on the inside if we just hang onto our childlike wonder. For proof, look no further than 52-year-old Kenneth Ainsworth, who recently ordered a life-size anime sex doll yet is now having more fun with the cardboard box it came in than the actual sex doll itself.
Wow! He may have some wrinkles and gray hairs, but this man is beaming like an 8-year-old on Christmas morning!
Though he spent hours carefully deliberating over features like nipple color, foot shape, and breast size when ordering his custom-designed 4-foot-8 Luna Starr Fantasy Doll online, Ainsworth couldn’t have seemed any less interested in it when UPS delivered it this morning, opting instead to dive headfirst into the massive cardboard box it came packaged in and letting his imagination run wild. With his lifelike pleasure mannequin tossed off to the side amid a heap of packing peanuts and instruction booklets, Ainsworth has now spent the last five hours crawling in and out of the box having make-believe adventures, wholly uninterested in testing out the realistic vaginal port of his new silicone companion.
“Oh no, look out, we’re headed straight for an asteroid field!” Ainsworth squealed, rocking giddily back and forth in the cockpit of his cardboard spaceship, blissfully unaware of the wide cartoon eyes of the anime sex doll staring seductively in his general direction. “Hang onto your hats, space cowboys, because we are switching into hyperdrive! Vrooooooom!”
“Yikes, grab your blasters, we’ve got an enemy ship coming up on the starboard side!” he continued, paying no mind to the three detachable suction-powered orifices that he paid a $200 upcharge for just several feet away. “Pew! Pew! Pew! Take that, alien scum!”
Once he finished pretending he was a galactic ranger, Ainsworth then swapped out the metal popcorn bowl he was using as a space helmet for a construction-paper eye patch so that he could play pirates, still not even bothering to put his sex doll’s vibrating insert on its charger or to fill its self-lubricating reservoir with the accompanying gel. While many adults might roll their eyes at the sight of Ainsworth crawling headfirst into his cardboard cave in search of Blackbeard’s treasure and shrieking with gleeful terror upon encountering a fire-breathing dragon, the fact that he was so consumed with silliness and joy that his brand-new $1,499 erotic playmate was seemingly an afterthought should be a pretty telling indicator that he hasn’t let the doldrums of adulthood squash his sense of wonderment.
Tuckered out after a long day of whimsical journeys, Ainsworth then curled up inside his big box with a couch pillow and drifted off into a nap, where he went on to dream of imaginary cardboard box adventures yet to come. While there’s no question that Ainsworth will eventually dress his new sex doll in one of his ex-girlfriend’s bras and proceed to penetrate it, in the meantime it’s heartwarming to see him escaping all the stresses and worries of the grown-up world and embracing his inner child.