Every crepe lover knows about the man who hates crepes. He is a miserable person and he certainly belongs in the crypt. If you love to eat crepes, then his poisonous face will be familiar to you. Let’s take a look at this horrible crepe-hating man.


Jesus Christ. Here he is: the man who hates crepes. If you enjoy crepes, then you definitely know this person, and he has made your time on earth a real slog.

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Oh, God. It’s the man. You know him. He’s always pointing at crepes and saying, “No thanks. I’d rather eat fish or popcorn.” All true crepe fans want to buy this man a one-way ticket to the grave.

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If you’re a member of the crepe community, then this is a traumatizing image. This is the guy who looks at crepes and scowls. What a heinous disaster of a citizen.

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This individual is a tangled cobweb of problems. He is the guy who likes to walk into crepe restaurants and say, “I’ll have nothing at all!” before walking right out the door cackling like a malicious fiend. All crepe enjoyers have witnessed this heinous act.

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Everyone who loves crepes remembers where they were the first time they saw this guy whisper the words “I don’t want it” into a vat of crepe batter. We carry the emotional scars of that day with us forever.

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The man who hates crepes belongs in Punishment World. He sits on crepes with his ass so as to ruin them. His entire head haunts the dreams of crepe lovers everywhere.

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Someday we will destroy him, this subhuman lunatic who does not care for the taste of crepes. The only thing that crepe lovers enjoy more than eating crepes is thinking about a medium-sized squid dragging this crepe-disdaining beast down to the bottom of the ocean. With his final breath, just before the seawater fills his lungs, he will utter the awful words “Crepes are not for me.” Then, at last, he will be silent, and his body will rot on the ocean floor like the putrid offal it has always been. May this glorious dream someday come to pass, and thereby make the world a happier place for crepe lovers everywhere. Amen.

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