Ladies, let’s be real here: Pregnancy tests have long seemed like they were something out of the Stone Age. Thankfully, First Response has our backs with an innovation that could totally change the way women find out if they’re pregnant: They have developed a new pregnancy test that will congratulate you for having sex before showing you the result.
It’s about time!
Like older tests, you have to pee on this new pregnancy test to get a reading, but that’s where the similarities end. Before the result is shown, a congratulatory message like “Baby or no baby, at least you got some” is displayed on a small screen. Other messages such as “It’s fantastic that you got laid” and “Fucktown, population you” can appear. The results are just as accurate as they were before, but now First Response has made a test that was once a little nerve-racking into something to look forward to.
We dare you not to feel empowered when you look at your pregnancy test and see “Way to get that D” staring back at you.
In an amazing example of a company finally listening to women, the new pregnancy test also includes Facebook integration that will give you the option to proudly share your congratulations-on-the-fucking message with your friends. Bluetooth compatibility even allows users to connect with a phone so that it can congratulate the person you had sex with.
Ladies, the future is officially here!
It shouldn’t be too long until competitors follow suit and this becomes a standard feature for all pregnancy tests. Even a decade ago, women everywhere could have never expected that an innovation like this was possible. Good on First Response for finally modernizing pregnancy tests and giving women the sex accolades they deserve!