Finally: Victoria’s Secret Just Introduced A Line Of Whatever The Fuck Kind Of Bra Situation Old Ladies Use

Since pretty much forever, older women have been ignored by lingerie brands, but now one of the biggest hitters in the industry is changing all that. Get excited, because Victoria’s Secret is finally catering to older ladies with an entire line of whatever the fuck their bra situation is.

It’s about time!

In an effort to attract more business from elderly women buying whatever it is that they need to buy, Victoria’s Secret has released a new line specifically aimed toward an older demographic and their baffling wire enigmas. Now women of an advanced age who maybe use some kind of pulley system in their whole bra deal can at long last walk into a major manufacturer and find the nylon mystery that they normally use. For old ladies who are used to wearing bras that seem to have wrought-iron straps and padding that’s extremely thick but somehow still doesn’t cover their nipples, Victoria’s Secret is finally addressing their wildly perplexing needs.


“Our goal is to bring beauty and confidence into every woman’s lingerie wardrobe, no matter the Rube Goldberg setup she’s got in there,” states an introduction on the Victoria’s Secret website. “With a sizing system that starts at D and has six different beguiling metrics that make up each fit, we’ve fitted some of these senior bras with brass buckles, and others with a whalebone corset attached to it because, honestly, the old-lady bra situation is anyone’s guess, and we’re excited to be a part of it.”

Wow. Older women across the board can rejoice that their need for cups that seem triangular on purpose is at last being addressed by Victoria’s Secret. Finally!


It shouldn’t be too long before Victoria’s Secret’s competition gets in on the action with god-knows-what old ladies typically assemble to either keep things up or push them down. In the meantime, older women will finally be able to solidly depend on one company for whatever the fuck their normal bra situation usually is. Props to you, Victoria’s Secret!

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