There are simply too many incredible things to do in Bangkok, Thailand to experience the city in just one day. If you’ve got only 24 hours to spend in the Thai capital, here are the five things you absolutely have to do to get the most out of your visit.

1. Pay a visit to the Thai Statue of Liberty: For a more touristy afternoon, look no further than Bangkok’s own Statue of Liberty, known to locals as “the Thai Statue of Liberty.” Nestled snugly between skyscrapers in the financial district, tourists can climb the the 300-foot behemoth and see breathtaking views, as well as learn about Asian history at Thai Ellis Island.

2. Repeatedly make jokes to your wife about hiring a prostitute to feel out if she’d be okay with it: Happen to find yourself near the red-light district? Why not crack a few too many jokes with your wife about wanting to hire a prostitute to see if she’d be cool with that? Just point at one of the women in the windows and say “What about that one, babe?” around 15 times, and if she angrily shuts you down, you’ve got your answer!

3. Go to McDonald’s only to discover in horror that all of the food there is super fucking weird too: Bangkok is a veritable foodie paradise, home to all sorts of exotic cuisine, and apparently that applies even when you visit a fucking McDonald’s as a last resort and discover that fast food in Bangkok is also somehow freaky-as-shit there also. Jesus.

4. Be drawn toward the chime of an ancient temple bell for what feels like thousands of years, only to never arrive: Right at the center of Bangkok lies an ancient royal temple, and when you visit, you’ll inevitably fall under the spell of a haunted bell that you’ll walk toward forever without ever actually reaching it. Eons will pass…stars will chart their courses across the cosmos…yet even as you walk endlessly toward its ancient chimes, the bell will only get farther and farther away. You’ll walk for thousands of years, aging into an old man, dying on the ground and gasping for breath, when…suddenly, you’ll be back, standing in the middle of a sweltering Bangkok sidewalk. Was it even real? Or merely a haunting flicker from some forgotten dream?

5. Get sick of Buddha: If you’ve always wanted to become extremely bored of Buddha, Bangkok will be your dream city. With countless Buddha statues and temples everywhere to really try your patience, you’ll be completely worn out on Buddha in no time. Enjoy!

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