Elderly people stepping into the Bang Bus.

Here’s some awesome news that proves there’s still good in the world: The Bang Bus will now be used to transport retirement home residents to see plays on weekends.

What a brilliant way for a pillar of the amateur pornography industry to help our senior citizens get out and see some theater!

Once the crew is done filming performers getting picked up by the Bang Bus and engaging in sexual intercourse while it drives around, the interior of the van will be fully sanitized to prepare it for a weekend of ferrying elderly theatergoers to plays. The van’s multi-angle camera rig will allow the driver to ensure that all of the seniors are safe and happy during their journey, and the driver’s extensive knowledge of Miami’s back roads all but guarantees that the group will never miss curtain time for a local Gilbert and Sullivan society’s performance.

The program has only been running for a month, but already the Bang Bus has provided transport to over a dozen plays in its downtime from having horny strangers perform sex acts in it. There was one scheduling mix-up the first weekend when the van arrived at Quiet Pines Retirement Center while two performers were still 69’ing each other in the back, but they were able to finish up fast enough for the seniors to still make the second act of a community college production of Amadeus. The Bang Bus even has plans to install a sex swing that can double as a makeshift wheelchair lift, though its current priority is finding a better method to clean up lube after a couple seniors almost slipped disembarking back at the retirement home.

It’s great to see a reality pornography website making sure that residents of assisted living facilities stay engaged with the outside world. We could all stand to learn a thing or two from this amazing act of charity!


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