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Heartbreaking: The CEO Of Tide Has Posted Dozens Of Videos Of Him Slamming Himself In The Nuts With A Hoover Vacuum To Try And Kick Off A Viral Challenge That Doesn’t Involve Tide

Tide’s months-long struggle to stop teens from ingesting its colorful, toxic detergent packs has been a disheartening tale of corporate futility, and unfortunately, this story just got a lot sadder. The CEO of Tide has been posting dozens of videos of him slamming himself in the nuts with a Hoover vacuum to try to kick-start a viral challenge that doesn’t involve Tide.

This is just heartbreaking. You’ve really got to feel for the guy.

Last Monday, Tide CEO David Taylor posted the first of dozens of “Hoover Dare” videos to YouTube. “Shoutout to Hoover for making a vacuum cleaner so perfect for slamming into my groin. The ‘Tide pod challenge’ has nothing on this thrill! The Hoover challenge is strictly for the bravest teens only,” the visibly exhausted executive shouts into the camera before raising the sleek appliance high into the air and hammering it as hard as he can into his crotch, doubling over, and writhing on the ground in pain while repeatedly moaning the word, “Awesome.” Taylor ends the video by challenging Tom Hanks to take the challenge himself and then pass it on, though so far Hanks hasn’t responded in any way, and Tide still remains strongly associated with dangerous teen trends.

Taylor has since posted dozens of videos of himself slamming his crotch with a Hoover vacuum, although none of them have received more than 20 views. and it’s clearly taking a toll. The pitiable CEO has shifted from longer videos where he uses a Hoover to hit himself in the groin repeatedly, to a flurry of shorter clips in which the obviously pained executive simply pleads, “Come on! Hit your nuts with the Hoover vacuum! Your friends will love and respect you!” before he tries again to pummel his wounded testicles with what little strength he has left. It’s a level of desperation that’s pretty difficult to watch.

Unfortunately, it seems like Tide is willing to try anything at this point to get teenagers to choose another company for their dangerous fads, and Taylor took over his company’s official Twitter account in a desperate attempt to get the hashtag #HooverDare trending.

Yikes. It’s understandable that Tide would want to take drastic measures to stem the incalculable damage to its reputation the Tide pod challenge has caused, but its CEO’s attempts to divert teens’ attention are coming off as just plain sad. Let’s hope he gives up soon, because this is clearly not working, and at this point he’s only embarrassing himself.