A mom.

You’re going to want to call your mom and tell her you love her after reading this.

There’s no love more powerful than that of a mother for her child, and Julia Halloway is proving that with a tearjerking final gift she gave her teenage son. After the tragic death of her 16-year-old Paul, Julia decided to claim he had joined ISIS so people wouldn’t know he blew himself up completely by accident.


Wow, this is a beautiful tribute to make her son seem like less of a dumbass.

When a young person dies by tying several powerful fireworks together with a rubber band and unwittingly setting them off in his hand as Paul did, most people only remember that person as a reckless dipshit. Julia amazingly prevented her son from suffering that fate by telling people that her son was radicalized online by ISIS propaganda and killed himself totally on purpose in a suicide bomb attack with the goal of establishing a global caliphate. From Paul’s classmates to her extended family, Julia is telling anyone who will listen that Paul blew himself up in an Afghani hotel to send a message to the infidels, and while she may not agree with his reasons, he definitely intended to go out that way.


“My son was lured in by the hateful ideology of ISIS, and sadly decided to blow himself up on purpose,” reads a statement Julia released to local newspapers. “Although my son’s violent jihadist views are inexcusable, he is still my son who exploded deliberately, and I will always love him. I ask for privacy to grieve my terrorist son who wanted to get blasted to bits.”

To back up her story, Julia went onto Paul’s Facebook account to change his profile pic to the Islamic State flag, and edited several of his recent posts to criticize the “decadent imperialist USA” and link to beheading videos. She also tagged several vacation photos he posted from a recent trip to Florida as being taken in Syria. It’s a loving gesture that proves there isn’t anything a mother won’t do to make her son seem like a little less of a moron.


Nothing can bring Paul back from his fireworks mishap, but thankfully he’ll be remembered as an extremist lone-wolf attacker who felt passionately about a despicable ideology instead of a complete blockhead who blows himself up without meaning to. He’s lucky to have a mom that will work so hard to make him look relatively better. Make sure you hug your mom next time you see her! Moms rule!

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