Just because you both swiped right doesn’t mean you’re guaranteed to get a date. Here are eight tips to writing a first line on Tinder that’ll definitely make you stand out from the pack.
1. Preface each new piece of personal information with the word “BEHOLD!”: Typing the word “BEHOLD!” before each new piece of personal information you include in your message will let your match know where to pay extra-close attention.
2. Ask them if they like to do laundry: As soon as you match with someone, demand that your match tell you whether or not they like to do laundry. This is a great way to bond over a shared interest. If their bio already mentions that they like to do laundry, write something like, “Aha! I see that you are a laundry musketeer like me! This makes me in love with you and ready for your kiss in the bed.”
3. Tell them that they look like famous art and/or some kind of beautiful fish: A little flattery can go a long way.
4. Show them that you’re not shallow by letting them know that you don’t care how much they weigh: Nobody wants to date someone who places too much emphasis on superficial things like physical appearance. Let your match know that you’re a complex and thoughtful person by telling them that you’ll never need to know how much they weigh.
5. Use capital letters to indicate when you are shouting: When you’ve reached a part of your Tinder message where shouting is necessary, write in capital letters to communicate to your match that you are currently yelling.
6. Show them that you’re vulnerable by reminding them several times that you will one day die: While confidence is important during a prospective romantic encounter, it’s also important to show that you’re a human being with insecurities just like everyone else. During your opening Tinder message, be sure to remind your match that you are mortal and will one day perish. This will make you seem charming and easy to relate to!
7. Politely invite them to never see you naked: Nothing can kill a budding Tinder romance faster than coming on too strong in the sexual department. Politely invite your match to never know what you look like in the nude in order to keep things civil.
8. Avoid appearing desperate by telling your match that you hate them and might one day run them over with a train: Desperation is very unattractive. What your match wants is someone who appears cool and detached and doesn’t seem overeager to get laid. Communicate this indifference by letting your date know that you will one day kill them with a train.
Great! Now that we know the basics, let’s see if we can improve on this basic Tinder opening:
Pretty boring, right? When we apply our tips, we get a much better opener:
Awesome! Now, try crafting your own perfect pickup line and show off your results!