How You Know It’s Time To Leave New York For L.A.

Are you finally ready for the big move? If these things are happening to you, it might be time to consider a new life on the West Coast!

  • The mayor of New York arrives at your door with a broom to shoo you away.
  • You did not immediately become rich, successful, and famous in New York.
  • The urn with your grandfather’s ashes starts to whisper “Now” instead of “Soon.”
  • Pizza wilts when you touch it.
  • Your fortune teller pulled out a tarot card that had the Beach Boys on it.
  • The New York Post publishes your obituary every day.
  • Just before vanishing over the horizon, the sun says “Follow me.”
  • You’re a Coppola, damn it, and it’s time you started behaving like one.
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