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‘On Two Separate Occasions I’ve Killed A Cockroach With An Accurately Thrown Ping-Pong Ball’: 5 Questions With Oprah Winfrey

Everything Oprah does, she dominates. Whether it’s hosting the most highly rated talk show of all time or running a multibillion dollar empire all in her own name, she’s the best—and she still manages to make you feel like you’re her best friend along the way. Despite her hectic schedule, Winfrey was kind enough to sit down with us and answer five questions about what’s on the horizon for her incredible career!

1. There are a lot of rumors that you may run for president in 2020. Any ideas who you would pick as your running mate?

While I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to be commenting on any upcoming elections, if it were to happen, I would run with whoever is lucky enough to be seated in seat B8 whenever I tape my next television show. In fact, I plan on giving the entire audience positions in my Cabinet. Unfortunately, there are only so many high-level Cabinet positions to go around, though, so the last row of my studio audience will have to settle for ambassadorships.

2. If you had to choose, what quality about you would you say was most crucial to your success?

Definitely my most important quality is my ability to morph into Dr. Phil. If I wasn’t able to turn into Dr. Phil whenever I needed to, there’s no way I could be even close to where I am now. I’ve just always had the ability to cough three times, turn my head all the way around, and have Dr. Phil’s face emerge from underneath my hair. If I couldn’t do that, I’d still be back in Wisconsin.

3. You’ve accomplished so much throughout your impressive career. What achievement are you most proud of?

On two separate occasions I’ve killed a cockroach with an accurately thrown ping-pong ball.

4. What would you say to someone who believes they don’t have the time to take care of themselves like you do?

People come to me all the time and say, “Oprah, I could never do what you do,” and, “Oprah, I work two jobs, how am I supposed to find time for a massage?” But I always tell them, “You’re beautiful and wonderful just the way you are, and if you can’t make a billion-dollar wellness empire from scratch just like me, at least you can coast on that vague, catchall beauty that everyone has, and that’s fine!”

5. You’re one of the richest TV personalities in America. How did you accumulate that much wealth?

Well, a large part of that came from the fact that I didn’t realize money could be exchanged for goods and services until 2017. Recently, though, a man approached me on the side of the road and offered to trade me every penny I had for an immortal goat he had raised himself. Well, one week later? The goat is dead, and I’m off the Forbes wealthiest people list, but honestly, I’ve never been happier!