Better forward this one to your grandparents, because their moviegoing experience may soon get a whole lot better!
Senior citizens may have enjoyed Cinemark Theatres’ senior discount days in the past, but the theater chain just upped its game in a big way. At all participating theaters, Cinemark will now be offering an additional 10 percent ticket discount to seniors who really look like shit!
At the cashier’s discretion, any senior who looks like they’re barely hanging together will receive a 10 percent discount on their ticket purchase, allowing elderly theatergoers who seem like they’re in pretty rough shape to enjoy all the latest movies without straining their wallets. Through the so-called Ramshackle Senior Discount, Cinemark is clearly showing that it cares about its most waterlogged-marionette-looking, shrunken-head-looking, freeze-dried-roadkill-looking customers.
“We want our elders to feel respected at a Cinemark theater, especially when they’re clearly dragging themselves towards the finish line, and this discount does just that,” said Cinemark CEO Mark Zoradi. “Whether they’re burdened with tanks, tubes, bags, machines, or just skin like stomped fruit, we believe that all senior citizens whom our ushers might mistake for a cooling corpse should feel at home at Cinemark. So no matter whether your teeth are pretty good or basically debris, you’re welcome here.”
Awesome. This is what real respect looks like. Your move, AMC!