Anyone serious about keeping their home safe and smelling great will definitely want to keep reading.

In what is bound to be the new industry standard, Glade has just updated its roster of air fresheners with a model that periodically releases aggressive puffs of pepper spray in case there are any intruders in your home.

Awesome! Criminals won’t know what hit ’em.

The new air fresheners perform just like any normal air freshener, except they periodically shoot out pepper spray on an entirely unpredictable schedule. The debilitating irritant can cover a radius of 300 feet and will incapacitate any criminals currently burglarizing your home. With a random timer that alternates between a burst of lilac blossom and Glade’s triple-action-formula pepper spray with maximum stopping power, this product definitely deserves a second look from homeowners.

Glade issued a short press release:

“We’re very excited to unveil our new line of air fresheners to the public. For too long, homeowners have had to choose between great smelling, fresh scents and home security. Well, no longer. Our patented Pepper Blast system sprays a potent irritant at 120 mph and 180 degrees. It can even disable intruders wearing a bandana or light balaclava and gently deliver natural lilac scents for the modern home.”

Advertisement

Wow. We can’t wait to get our hands on one. Sorry, criminals, but it looks like Glade is sending you back to the drawing board.