Looking to get away? Check out these tips to save yourself some dough before you book the big trip.
1. Buy your ticket directly from the pilot: Tickets get insanely marked up by travel and airline sites. Cut out the middleman and buy your ticket directly from your pilot to save big and avoid getting scammed.
2. Star in one of the in-flight movies: Due to a Screen Actors Guild bylaw, any main or supporting actor in a film is legally allowed to board any plane where their film is an available in-flight entertainment choice. This is a surefire way to fly and cut your costs!
3. Buy a coal-shoveler’s ticket: Sure, you’ll have to shovel coal into the plane’s furnace for the whole flight, but if you’re up to the task, there’s no better way to save.
4. Only fly on planes with a pilot named Ladd: Airlines offer huge discounts on flights piloted by tiny, spindly men named Ladd—you just have to know where to look! But watch out: Planes piloted by large, hairy-armed men named Octavius have been known to cost travelers big time.
5. Buy a ticket for a land plane: Travel websites won’t tell you this, but tickets for planes that go on the road or travel on train tracks are often cheaper than tickets for planes that go in the air.
6. Let your airline know that your heart belongs to the skies: If you write “My Heart Belongs To The Skies” on your boarding pass, airlines will let you fly for free, because it’s technically against the law for airlines to stop people from following their heart.
7. Only fly on Eli’s Bad Plane: Eli has a bad plane. It is very small and mostly broken. He built it himself 50 years ago and it melts in the sun. Tickets are $10 for any international flight.