Illustration for article titled Something For The Foot Fetish Crowd: This Foot Wants To Have Sex With You!

If you’ve got a foot fetish, then get ready to cheer, because we’ve got some extremely good news for you: This foot wants to have sex with you!


Yes! If feet make you horny, then it just doesn’t get any better than this.

Just moments ago, this foot started talking about how attractive you are and how much it wanted you to have sex with it. The foot mentioned you by name and suggested a variety of sexual positions it would like to try with you. This foot is all hot and bothered thinking about you! Your wildest foot fetish fantasies are about to be satisfied!

What are you waiting for? This foot has been calling your cell phone nonstop in hopes of asking you to come over to its nest to have sex with it! The foot has lit some scented candles all around its nest and put on a romantic CD, and all that’s missing is for you to take this foot in your big, strong arms and give it the sex it craves!

The foot’s cloaca is engorged and has emerged from its heel, and the foot is ready to use its cloaca to make love to you. If you’re a foot fetish person, you should know that this foot is absolutely aching with desire for you to stimulate its cloaca so that it can squirt out its pollen! Once the foot squirts pollen out of its cloaca, it will ask you to leave its nest and go home.


The foot is not looking for a long-term relationship. It just wants you to have sex with it once and then leave.

So hurry up! There’s never been a better time to be a person with a foot fetish! You should have a big smile on your face as you make your way to this foot’s nest, because its cloaca is engorged and it’s ready for you to take it to pleasure town. We’re so happy for you!


UPDATE: When the foot squirts pollen out of its cloaca, a squirrel rolls around in the pollen and then runs into the woods and rubs its body all over rocks and trees. This spreads the pollen all around the forest so that the pollen can fertilize the eggs of spiders and fish. Then those spider and fish eggs will hatch into baby feet instead of the animals they were supposed to hatch into. This is what the song “The Circle Of Life” from The Lion King was about.

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