You have an email sitting in your inbox from Scarlett Johansson, wanting to have a long passionate session with you. She’s ready, impatient, and wants your credit card info to buy sex gear. As convincing as the email is, there are also hundreds of malicious scammers online waiting for someone like you to slip up. How do you know if this email is the real deal? Luckily, there are surefire ways to tell.
1. Has Scarlett emailed you about an endless night of moaning before? Is the A-lister’s request for “a torrid night where our flesh will liquify into an indiscriminate pool” totally out of the blue? If the email mentions needing your info to rent a “moaning carousel,” make sure you can pinpoint a conversation with Johansson in the past where she mentioned it. If not, it’s likely you’re talking to a scammer, but also Scarlett might have gotten your email address from one of your friends and you’d hate to just delete that if it were real, so just be careful.
2. Check if the address is legitimate: So you get an email from someone named firstname.lastname@example.org. How do you tell if that’s real or fake? Scarlett Johansson might be notorious for forgetting her password and having to make new emails, so it’s possible to have your inbox flooded with emails from both the legitimate star and scammers. While contact with her is a continuous guessing game, an easy start is checking the domain name. If it ends with one that’s not as recognizable, such as VibrationHunter@FemaleLeadThePrestige.gmi, that .gmi could tip you off to a scammer.
3. Never click on links directly: If the email includes links such as Amozon.com/wishlist/VoiceFromHerTheMovieLoveToolbox or AdamamdEve.com/ScarJoHornedUpForYou, be wary of clicking. A lot of scams happen by impersonating a legitimate site to log into, and most have spelling errors. If the real Scarlett Johansson were entreating you to a flesh-tingling love bonanza, it is more likely that she would just list out the sexual fetish gear she wants to pick up at a brick-and-mortar store so you wouldn’t have to wait for them to be delivered, because she wants you so bad right now. If there are any links in that email, best to play it safe and not visit.
4. Ask to send audio of a specific sentence you wrote to prove it’s the real ScarJo: When in doubt, always reply with specific demands only the real Scarlett Johansson could deliver. If it’s her, she’ll prove it with an audio message and talk about whether she’ll meet you using public transportation or whether she’ll drive herself to your pleasure regatta that you’ve decked out with the newest in sexual technology. If not, or if the user replies with no audio, don’t waste your time.
5. Watch out for scare tactics: How panicked is the email? The subject line shouldn’t contain keywords such as URGENT, ONE NIGHT ONLY, LUBE TARPIT, FORECLOSURE. Hundreds of people a day will fall for what seems like Scarlett Johansson threatening to seize their home if they don’t forfeit their credit card information for a state-of-the-art-sex-gear-filled flesh marathon. And while yes, it’s technically possible the real Scarlett Johansson could be impatient to rock your world, it’s unlikely she would threaten to take ownership over your house in order to get the flesh fest moving faster.
6. Offer to go shopping for sex gear together: This is the perfect way to see if Scarlett Johansson really is the one who has the hots for you and wants a “LIMITED TIME OFFER Sex Tool Assembly And Sheet Romp- Three Day Event.” Just give the location of a local sex shop and a time to meet. If she doesn’t show, you know you were dealing with a scammer fortunate enough to find your email somewhere. And if she does, well, lube up, friend, because you’re about to have the pleasure ruckus of your sweet little life, and it’s further proof that you should never completely dismiss an email from Scarlett Johansson offering a sweaty fiesta of unspeakable passion.