Open wide, you little freaks, because you’re getting crammed with fiber whether you want it or not.

Look at this sugar-coated asshole with her blue tongue. Now take some healthy veggies and stuff this kid’s mouth.


He’s just standing there wagging that neon slab of a tongue. So, are you gonna give him another Pixy Stix, or are you gonna go into the fridge and show this sticky shit who’s boss?

Come on, cram it. CRAM IT. Literally any vegetable, so long as she can’t fit any more sugary bullshit into her cheeks.


Yes, he’s a kid. No, he’s not yours. But here’s the thing: He’s also a shitty candy-guzzling idiot kid, so pick up a plant and shove it already.

Look, if you don’t plug this fucker up, someone else goddamn will.


So, who’s it going to be? These little technicolor shits or you?