There’s nothing that makes us laugh more than dumb criminals! Well, here is a batch of some real DOPEY crooks who took stupid crimes to the next level!


1. Carlos Ruiz

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Thought you knew dumb? This moron had to take care of his three brothers, and with no ability to make a living, he resorted to stealing cars. Next time, buy your own car, and then you won’t have to steal one, numbnuts!


2. Louis Horner

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Another idiot alert: Louis was the first member of his family to go to college, but because he couldn’t afford textbooks and housing even working nights and weekends, he sold weed to students and townies to supplement his income—including an undercover cop! SMDH!


3. Tara Jenkins

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Having to take care of her brother’s three children while he was locked up, Tara was forced to resort to prostitution to make ends meet. HEY DOOFUS, ever think of getting a high-paying job with benefits?


4. Martin Jones

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Compelled to fend for himself in a series of negligent foster families, this world-class dolt fell in with a bad crowd, then got himself sentenced to two years in a juvenile detention center for breaking and entering. Not exactly the brightest bulb on the tree!


5. Michelle Adams

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This bonehead was caught using counterfeit money to purchase medicine she could no longer afford after Walmart eliminated health insurance for its temporary employees. Nice try, moron!


6. Elijah Sanchez

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Get a load of this Einstein. After being physically and emotionally abused for years by his alcoholic father, 15-year-old Elijah stole a car with the vague, desperate hope of leaving his whole life behind. Can you say NUMBSKULL?!


7. Kirk Mitchell

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With no effective government assistance in readjustment or rehabilitation after returning from Afghanistan, veteran and war hero Kirk Mitchell eventually found himself homeless on the bitterly cold streets of Minneapolis in January. One night, he was arrested after—no joke—breaking into the basement of a family’s house in search of warm shelter. He may be unable to get a home, but he should GET A CLUE: That’s at least a misdemeanor there, war machine!


8. Pauline Rice

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Way to continually slip though institutional cracks, never get diagnosed with or treated for schizophrenia, and assault a grocery clerk, dummy!