Every Super Bowl party is the same—the pageantry of the big game; the delicious, hot-out-of-the-oven pizza; the cavalcade of interesting guests. The first two are a given, so as you prepare to host a gathering for the big game that’ll have everyone buzzing, take time to brush up on all of the characters native to any Super Bowl party.
1. The Football Nerd: This total lame-o will bore people with their arcane football knowledge, such as what down it is, what the score is, and which teams are playing.
2. The Color Commentator: This famous, well-coiffed man with his playing days behind him and a real gift of gab is always around, but more than that, he’s always telling the most boring anecdotes about the time he found his way into your house and started watching football with you.
3. The Guy You Didn’t Invite, Who Is Actually Just Your Desk: We’ve all been there: Some guy you don’t know barges into your party, eating all your snacks, talking really loudly, and patting you on the back really hard. Then you look closer and he’s actually your desk that’s been pushed against the corner of your apartment for three years.
4. The Girlfriend: You know, her—the one who just tagged along because she adores football and knows far more about the sport than you do on every level.
5. The Landscape Painter: Though they won’t say much from behind their easel, the landscape painter will create a beautiful 16’-by-20’ panorama of the game that you can hang on your wall after it ends.
6. The Signal Giver: During the game, you’ll see the head coach stare directly into the camera, and the signal giver will start signaling toward the TV. Then the head coach will nod and his team will score a touchdown on the very next play. This is how all touchdowns are scored.
7. The One Who’s Only There For The Kneeling: Without fail, there’s always someone there who doesn’t care about any part of football except the parts when someone kneels. “Oh, he’s about to take a knee!” “Look at him taking a knee!” “Remember when he took a knee?” Jeez, we get it!
8. The Person Who Shows Up Five And A Half Years Late: The game’s been over for more than five and a half years, and suddenly it’s summer, and this guy shows up in your home asking about how the Colts are doing! Um…how about buying a watch, champ?
Another thing you can’t miss at your Super Bowl party? A full arsenal of fresh-baked DIGIORNO® pizzas in your oven. Before the big game rolls around, learn how to PreGiorno here and you’ll be well on your way toward having the best gameday party ever hosted.