They make it seem easy, but moms have big secrets. We dare you to read their heartfelt confessions without getting a bit emotional.


1. Deborah Phelps, mother of three

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“I constantly lose my children in the grocery store—nine or 10 times per visit. It seems like maybe this is what God wants, for them to be grocery store kids, so I plan to stop looking for them.”


2. Judee Valentine, mother of one

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“I tell my son he gets to eat hamburgers for every meal, but in truth I’m feeding him a wide variety of things. He now just thinks ‘hamburgers’ means ‘food.’”


3. Marlene Ramirez, mother of two

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“When my kids were going through puberty, I told them it was a result of the outstanding overseas box-office returns for Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.”


4. Laurie Archibold, mother of one

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“When I get very stressed, I imagine putting my beautiful son, Charbon, in a boat, and pushing the boat out to sea.”


5. Pam McIntosh, mother of two

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“I think my son’s bully makes some good points.”


6. Janice Stahelski, mother of two

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“Back in the day, I would sometimes dress up like a teenage boy named Tyler and sell my son weed. I would always have to rush home and change back into my mom clothes before my son arrived. I’d scream at him all night for buying weed. Then I would confiscate it and sell it right back to him the next day.”


7. Kim Zolciak, mother of two

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“I’m Kim Zolciak. It’s gonna really freak ’em out when I tell them.”


8. Denise Nielsen, mother of two

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“When it was time to have the sex talk with my kids, I gave them a binder that catalogued every orgasm I ever had and said ‘Good luck having as many orgasms as me.’”


9. Leah Stanwick, mother of three

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“When I was pregnant with my daughter, I would draw little crosses on my stomach with a marker to make sure she would come out Christian. It worked.”


10. Keira Elliott, mother of one

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“I tell my daughter she has wonderful little cheeks, but it’s a lie. I think all cheeks are terrible.”