Ten of the finest minds in the world explain what they think awaits us just outside our world.


1. Mildred Dresselhaus (Physicist, Massachusetts Institute of Technology)

Via web.mit.edu

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“Current research strongly suggests that life on distant planets would be shaped like people, but with different-colored flesh. Blue, for example—the color of an alien.”


2. Michio Kaku (Professor of Theoretical Physics, City College of New York)

Via galleryhip.com

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“All of our predictive models for hypothesizing life on other planets have led us to the conclusion that, millions of light-years away, there is a single, gigantic desert planet, and in the middle of this vast, arid wasteland, there are two immortal alien beings that take turns kicking each other in the groin for all eternity.”


3. Chandra Wickramasinghe (Professor of Astrobiology, University of Buckingham)

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“Imagine a giant squid. Now, imagine it’s got wings or some shit. There’s your alien.”


4. Christiane Nüsslein-Volhard (Director, Max Planck Institute for Developmental Biology)

Via inforadio.de

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“No matter how many fingers a species has, their bowling balls will have a maximum of three holes. Human beings have five fingers on each hand, but bowling balls stop at three holes, because three holes is all you need. The Three Hole Limit is a fundamental rule of science.”


5. Brian Cox (Professor of Particle Physics, University of Manchester)

Via independent.co.uk

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“I bet there’s a couple of planets where everyone has really prominent wattles. God, it would be terrible if the first alien encounter we have is with some wattle-having life form. Count me out, if that’s the case. Yeesh.”


6. Jeremiah P. Ostriker (Professor of Astronomy, Columbia University)

Via phys-astro.sonoma.edu

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“They better not look like big floating balloons with mouths that hover in the atmosphere of gas giants. That’s my idea.”


7. Duncan Forgan (Astrophysicist, University of Edinburgh)

Via futureleadershipinstitute.files.wordpress.com

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“Life forms on other planets would need means of consuming energy, much like how 22-time Olympic medalist Michael Phelps consumes over 12,000 calories a day. They would need means of locomotion, much like the powerful, propulsive arms that allow Michael Phelps to accelerate swiftly through the water. They would need binocular vision to gauge distance and detect prey, just as Michael Phelps surveys the pool through his goggles to determine his pace and proximity to competitors.”


8. Michael E. Brown (Professor of Planetary Astronomy, California Institute of Technology)

Via answers.com

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“Hopefully there’s something out there that will play Parcheesi with ol’ Mike.”


9. Edward Witten (Theoretical Physicist, Princeton University)

Via filosofiaencolmenarejo.files.wordpress.com

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“I am the alien. Me. I am the creature from the stars. I come from a planet of beings who look exactly like me. I am considered the most beautiful woman on my planet. Our lifespan is three months, and we are constantly pregnant. I have laid 100 eggs today. None of my young will survive because I will eat them or I will sit on them, and this is considered incredibly normal and even sexy behavior on my planet, where I am an adolescent sex goddess.”


10. Richard Dawkins (Evolutionary Biologist, Oxford University)

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“Kind. Caring. Generous. Gentle eyes, soft skin. Polite and demure, with impeccable manners. One hundred shivering arms. Clean-cut. Great with kids.”