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We Asked 22 Doctors How Long They Think John Krasinski Will Live

We asked 22 doctors one simple question: How long do you think John Krasinski will live? Their answers may surprise you.

1. Dr. Eleanor Kendzor: “There’s no way for me to know that.”

2. Dr. Joseph Brattle: “I’m not sure I know what you mean.”

3. Dr. Kevin Watkins: “I have no idea.”

4. Dr. Susan Joplin: “He seems perfectly healthy to me, but I don’t know.”

5. Dr. Chad Abrams: “The guy from The Office? I’m not sure.”

6. Dr. John Reinhardt: “I’ve narrowed it down to sometime in the year 2071, right after his 92nd birthday. Informally, we might label John Krasinski’s cause of death ‘old age,’ but if you’d like me to get more specific, he’s going to suffer massive cardiac arrest in his sleep. It’s sad to think about such a charming and handsome actor’s death, but I’m happy to report that it will be very quick, painless, and peaceful, with his elderly wife Emily Blunt by his side. We should all be so lucky to die the way John Krasinski will.”

7. Dr. Pearl Liu: “I don’t think I’m understanding the question.”

8. Dr. George Welker: “I don’t know who that person is, but it’s not really a question I could answer anyway.”

9. Dr. Benjamin Yang: “I don’t have any way to answer this.”

10. Dr. Barbara Mercer: “Best guess, John Krasinski will die in a car accident in two weeks.”

11. Dr. Vivek Mehta: “I don’t understand what you’re asking me.”

12. Dr. Phillip Zwick: “Doctors can’t predict things like that. There are too many variables.”

13. Dr. Louisa Heinrich: “If I had to hazard a guess here, I think John Krasinski will drop dead at around age 45. It will be a devastating loss. No one will have said goodbye, and no one will know what went wrong. They could autopsy to find out, but would it even matter at that point? Would it really bring anyone closure to know? I hope they leave John Krasinski’s body alone. Some stones are better left unturned. Some things humans were never meant to know.”

14. Dr. Adam Weinstein: “Anything I say would be a shot in the dark, sorry.”

15. Dr. Jose Hernandez: “Unless he’s facing some sort of medical crisis, he is much too young for me to guess.”

16. Dr. Lily Newell: “I don’t know.”

17. Dr. Andreas Clement: “My colleagues and I have a pool going right now, and if John Krasinski makes it past New Years I am going to get $50.”

18. Dr. Peter Reed: “There’s no real answer to that question.”

19. Dr. Amy Khan: “These days a healthy American man can expect to live into his 70s, but I can’t make guesses about John Krasinski specifically.”

20. Dr. Robin Curry: “I don’t think I follow.”

21. Dr. Steven Maples: “John Krasinski will be dead within five years. Did you see that Benghazi movie he was in? He looked so pale. What is wrong with him? He looked like he was throwing up between every scene. I call him Gaunt Krasinski because of how close to death he is. What a frail, sickly man. He’s completely on the brink. It’s five more years for Gaunt, tops. As far as I’m concerned, he’s already dead.”

22. Dr. Irene Finch: “I really don’t know.”