Twenty-two limo drivers. One question: What was the worst time someone got sucked out of your sunroof?


1. Chris Culvert – “No one’s ever been sucked out of my sunroof.”

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2. John Louis Head – “I don’t understand. Like, from wind?”

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3. Alvin Herrera – “That doesn’t happen.”

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4. Carlo Francisco – “Sucked out? How?”

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5. Neil Fischman Jr. – “Is that even possible?”

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6. Peter Gant – “That’s never happened to me personally, though I haven’t been driving that long.”

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7. Grant Jarrod – “Teens, headed to prom. One after another they went, each clinging to the ankle of the next, screaming to me, to their mothers, to God to save them. I try to roll down the partition, but it’s going so slowly. Too slowly. Then they’re gone. It’s silent. The light finally turns green. What could I do? I kept driving.”

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8. Alan Tiernan – “Did that happen to someone? I haven’t heard about this.”

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9. Andrew Modell – “Wait, what?”

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10. Ray Madoff – “The button’s broken, so I actually can’t open it up.”

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11. Bruce Halperin – “I’m sorry, maybe I just don’t understand.”

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12. Rylan Bollan – “Will fucking Smith, on the way to the MTV Movie Awards back in 2006. One second, you’re driving, and everything’s fine; the next, the Fresh Prince is flying out of your stretch limo. Somehow, he ended up on the red carpet, and I never heard anything else about it. I wasn’t about to go asking any questions.”

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13. Cal Hirsch – “I wouldn’t still be a working driver if anyone had.”

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14. Avi Sarkar – “I don’t start the car until everyone’s wearing seatbelts. Some drivers are lax about that, but not me.”

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15. Jonah Birnboim – “Never happened. Sorry.”

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16. Ed Ives – “The only way I can describe it is, the whole interior of the limo was pulled inside-out through the sunroof like a starfish extruding its stomach. Wheels and all. On the highway, too.”

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17. Mark Lowell – “I’m sorry, that’s not something I’m familiar with happening.”

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18. Colton Raithel – “What are you talking about?”

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19. Paresh Arvind – “I once opened the sunroof and Will Smith fell in through it, but I’m not sure that counts.”

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20. Gabriel Price – “I drive pretty safe, so….”

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21. Mike Abbott – “I don’t understand?”

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22. Paul Zucker – “My passengers stay put.”

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