Illustration for article titled Weird Things All Guys Do When Women Aren’t Around

Ladies, this might come as a shock, but guys can get up to some pretty weird stuff when you’re not around. Here are just a few of the bizarre things all guys do whenever the coast is clear!


Vacuum their cereal.

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Write “It’s a guy thing” on every visible surface and then cross out the word “guy.”

Illustration for article titled Weird Things All Guys Do When Women Aren’t Around


Roughhouse with their bosses.

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Watch Sex And The City and secretly love it but also fear it like one fears a great and powerful God.

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Fax the word “famous” to Peter Bogdanovich.

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Let out alllllllll the ear gas.

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Watch the stone. Protect the stone. Never let the stone out of sight.

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Apologize to Peter Bogdanovich for the fax with another fax that just says “Sorry for you know what.”

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Think of what is a woman.

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Draw a picture of what is a woman to remember what exactly it is.

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Remember.

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Build a woman out of sticks and string and cradle it ever so gently, remembering.

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Tea party!

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