Life as a worker on the Transcontinental Railroad was a bleak, backbreaking experience with very few luxuries. Here are five amazing sex toys that would have made a miserable day out on the tracks all worth it.

1. Nexus Revo Intense Rotating Prostate Massager

Imagine a 19th-century rail worker grading four miles of railway in a single day, and then getting back to camp half-dead and having the Nexus Revo waiting in his tent to turn his whole body into a writhing pretzel of ecstasy. If only it could have been! Swinging a 40-pound pick for 16 hours a day would leave a rail worker with barely enough strength to make himself a decent meal, let alone make himself come hard and fast. That’s why setting this vibrating massager up on his cot, saddling up, and letting it rock his 1866 world would have really been the ticket after a long day on the tracks, but alas, this dream never was and never can be.

2. Snake Bite Nipple Suckers


Apart from being arduous, spending hour after hour, month after month grading the desert soil to facilitate the unchecked westward expansion of the postbellum United States was also incredibly monotonous. Wearing these fun nipple suckers under his linen shirt throughout the day would have been a kinky, fun way to add some erotic spice to the day-to-day grind of a soul-sucked rail worker and added a little skip to his work boots. And having his nipples enlarged and extra sensitive and ready for some fun back at camp would have been an awesome reward at the end of a backbreaking day.

3. Utimi Silicone Anal Plug with Anal Bead


It wasn’t uncommon for a man boring through the Sierra Nevadas to see a friend or coworker killed by a misfired piece of black powder, so stimulating his prostate to full orgasmic bliss with these easy-to-use anal beads would have been the perfect way to soothe his rattled nerves at the end of a traumatic day. Just 10 minutes of anal play in his makeshift tent at night would have left even the most shell-shocked tunnel borer’s eyes roll back into his head, moaning with pleasure and smirking himself to sleep, leaving him totally rejuvenated and better able to focus on the task at hand during his next nerve-wracking day out on the tracks.

4. SpareParts HardWear Double Strap Harness & Vibrating Dildo


Life was lonely for the exploited Chinese immigrant rail workers of the 19th century, so strapping on this vibrating dildo, lubing it up, and giving a fellow manual laborer the pounding of a lifetime would have gone a long way to curing the ceaseless pangs of homesickness they dealt with every lonesome night. In fact, a whole camp of dusty, overworked tracklayers dropping their overalls and filling the frigid mountain air with their ecstatic screams and yelps would have lifted a solitary company’s spirits lickity split, guaranteed. And can you imagine the incredible spirit of unity the whole beleaguered crew would have been working with the day after sending each other to pound town heaven with these fun toys? Awesome.

5. Doc Johnson Super Sucker Fleshlight


Rough, calloused hands were sadly the day-to-day reality for men working on the Transcontinental Railroad, and moisturizer of any kind was unheard of, so having a soft, ribbed masturbator like the Super Sucker that he could go to town on himself with while sprawled on his cot at the end of the day would have been a godsend. These men could go months without seeing a woman so an oral simulation stroker like this would have had any manual laborers’ toes curling and thighs trembling from the first stroke. A railwayman could have given it his all during the day knowing he didn’t need his hands to be silky smooth, because this awesome toy would be hugging his penis at night. Even though the technology to create the plastic needed for this sex toy didn’t exist in the mid 19th century, we can all agree that if it had, the super sucker would have really hit the spot for these exhausted workers.