Wash up! Mama’s fixin’ a pot of her world-famous greens, and there’s nothing like a big mess of ‘em to get you strong for fucking.


1. Mmmm-mmmm, drip a little pepper vinegar over the top and have at ‘em. You’ll feel mighty as an ox and twice as bothered, with enough fire in your britches to fuck your way through the phonebook.

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2. Cooked low and slow with ham hocks and neck bones, Mama’s greens have that goodness that makes your muscles pop and your pecker holler. One bite and you’ll be horn-doggin’ six ways from Sunday. You’ll go cross-eyed with carnal madness, misters and missuses alike.

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3. Yessir, Mama’s greens are the best greens this side of the Mississippi. They’ll make your lady bits flap like a jaybird ‘til they’re drowned. Or they’ll fill your craw with so much mojo that you can slam your cock through a levee wall, if you’ve got a mind to. Mama reckons it’s all the vitamin K that does you in below the belt, but you know what it really is? That great taste.

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4. These greens have been a family tradition for six generations, served hot with gizzards every Sunday after church. They make you giant with strength and fill you up with so much cum that your eyelids go sticky. Swear on Daddy’s grave, your eyes go sticky with cum. And, boy, are the ejaculations ever forceful! Strip the paint right off the wall! Honest to God, one helping of these greens and you’ll squirt enough of your cane sugar to sweeten every tea pitcher in the county.

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5. See to it that you get some cornbread to sop up all the pot likker, because that’s where the magic’s at. A little bit of Mama’s pot likker will have your crotch muffin howling like a hound dog shittin’ a peach pit. You’ll feel your loins get so hot with gumption that you won’t be able to hold out ‘til the peach cobbler. You’ll fuck ‘til you’re laid up and raw with nether bits that look like yesterday’s chitlins. That’s just what good greens’ll do to you. And lemme tell ya, nobody makes greens like Mama does.

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