Is there anything more frustrating than a slow computer? Before you punch your laptop’s screen to oblivion, try out these helpful tips!

1. Download software with a fast-sounding name like ComputerBoost: Search the web for apps with speed-related names like LightningPC or MacRacer and install as many of them as you can.


2. Delete all duplicates of your pictures of starfish: These duplicates often take up as much as 40 GB of space on your hard drive. While keeping the originals of your starfish photos is essential, you can free up some processing power by letting the copies go.

3. Turn off “Baroque Mode”: Sure, it looks nice, but at the end of the day, there’s no need for your computer to constantly be so rich and ornate.

4. If you have a file on your computer labeled 3D_Leg_Kicking_Mustache_Man_In_Hell.jpeg, delete it: This is well known as a huge and unnecessary file. Having it saved on your computer takes up valuable hard drive space and impedes processing power. If you’ve got this on your hard drive, delete it.


5. Stop downloading viruses “just to see what will happen”: C’mon, we all know what will happen!

6. Don’t leave more than 50 versions of “I Shot The Sheriff” playing at once: With so many great cover versions of this song, it’s hard to settle on your few dozen favorites. But playing too many versions simultaneously will eat up a ton of RAM, which is why you never want more than 50 renditions blaring at the same time.

7. Do not visit either website: Both websites are hard for computers to handle. Avoid them to achieve the lightning-fast processing power you’re chasing!