Non-law-school people don’t know what it’s like.

1. Nobody catches the gavel on their first try: When the teacher tossed the gavel on the first day of class, nobody stood a chance.

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2. Defense is shirts. Prosecution is skins: You only have to be laughed out of one mock trial to remember this.

3. You can’t fully enjoy drinking a glass of water anymore because of Nelson v. Water: The general public is lucky to not know the details of this case.

4. Most cases just get settled in the Fight Sphere: Don’t get too excited about making closing arguments in court. Chances are your clients will just slog it out with clubs and grit.

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5. You stayed up late with your roommate arguing that there aren’t enough commas in the Bill of Rights: Sitting on opposite sides of the room on your beds, each clutching a pillow and shouting how many commas should be added to the Bill of Rights and where until 4 a.m.—that’s law school.

6. No gum is better than law school gum: When you see your non-law-school friends chewing their regular gum, you can’t help but feel bad. They have no idea what they’re missing.

7. You know the word “judge” by heart: After three years of it, how could you forget?

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